“For what makes a distinction between you and someone else? And what do you have that grace has not given you?”*
i get up
she gets up
i choose an outfit
she chooses an outfit
not bad
we think
i do my make-up
she does her make-up
we look in the mirror
not too bad
a little more convinced now
i pick up my handbag
she picks up her handbag
walking out the front door
we can do this
conquer this day
i walk into the room
she walks into the room
i see her across the room
she sees me across the room
our confidence
crumbles and falls to
our feet
unattractive it lies
how does she do it
i wonder
she wonders
self-doubt creeps up
and makes a home
right in the heart
of who we are
comparison
rips through our beauty
until only
shreds
remain
“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” – Iyanla Vanzant
God created each of us as a stand-alone work of art. We are not meant to be the same, nor to be compared to others. But because He has gifted us with free will, and we are human, we often do exactly that. We doubt ourselves and, maybe at times unintentionally, we tell the Creator He could have done better at creating us. If we, however, will lean in closer, He will show us the truth of us and lead us to wholeness.
If comparison is poisoning our hearts, it eventually becomes like a ‘hammer and chisel’, used without the skill of the trade, and whoever or whatever does not meet our standard is violently chiseled. With our words and actions we destroy ourselves and others.
I do, however, think that in this life it is somewhat impossible to not compare ourselves to others at times. But is it possible that the poison of comparison may have an antidote?
Maybe when faced with comparison, when sensing the poison, instead of picking up the ‘hammer and chisel’ we can grab a ‘pencil and paper’ and simply take note of our shortcomings but ALSO our talents and beauty and, yes, noticing the shortcomings, talents and beauty of others too. But then we take what we have noticed to God and together we erase whatever untruth is in our notes. We choose to learn from Him and also from others, not with any destructiveness to ourselves or others, but by choosing to offer strength in weakness and in turn asking for strength in our weakness, celebrating each other, our talents, and our beauty. If we keep going to Him before we react, the truth will be the antidote and the poison will have lost its effectiveness.
...i walk into the room
she walks into the room
i see her across the room
she sees me across the room
our eyes meet
with confidence
i see her beauty
she sees my beauty
we acknowledge
that it does not
look the same
nor does it need to
i know my weakness
she reminds me of my courage
she knows her weakness
i remind her of her strength
a strength I admire
we choose to learn
from each other
we choose to encourage
each other
we choose to celebrate
together
in
His truth about us.
My Prayer
Lord Jesus, we need truth, Your truth, in our lives for us to live by, to stand on, and also to hold up. Give us hearts that seek You first and may we be continually aware that what we have has been given to us by grace.
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